Little Debbie Cakes, Nightmares and Lemonade

It seems to me that I am addicted to two things. Little Debbie Nutty Bars, and Minute Maid Lemonade. I'm not kidding. These are the wonders of the world. The lemonade is like perfect on a hot day and I will sit there and drink a can of it in less than a minute. I don't know what makes it so good, but I just can't get enough of it.

My gramma bought these Nutty Bars and I have devoured them every time she buys a new box. They are so delicious and awesome. Go Nutty Bars, you go.

Now, on to my crisis with Little Debbie. She makes some tasty ass cakes, and all that...but I used to have nightmares about her. I'm not kidding. I am 100% serious. I just remembered them tonight, when I was looking at her ugly little face in the corner of the box. I not only had one nightmare with her, but I had TWO! Allow me to tell you about them.

When I was 8 I had my first Little Debbie Horror. I had this toy and what it was was a tree and inside it was like little lego people to play inside. It was Lego's version of Mighty Max (yes, I collected those) or Polly Pocket. Anyway, my dream was that I was sleeping on a couch in the house I was living in at the time, and on the floor was this tree thing. The tree opened up and inside were all the lego things just like in reality. BUT...Little Debbie had a knife and she was like waving it at me, saying she was going to come up on the couch and kill me. All I remember was me waking up and screaming and pushing the tree thing I had been playing with away because I thought for sure Little Debbie's days of baking cakes were through, and she was going to start killing people.

THEN...when I was 10 I had ANOTHER dream about her. This time I was in the woods, and I didn't know where I was. And I saw her in the woods. I was really scared and I started running from her, but I fell down the hill. So I was like tumbling through this forest trying to get the hell away from Little Debbie. I finally stopped and was looking up at the sky when she came over and looked down at me, and started growing vampire fangs. Then she had that damn knife again - just like in the first dream. That's all I remember about this dream...but it was vivid enough for me to hate her ugly face.

Anyway, I am 18 now, and Little Debbie doesn't scare me one bit. As long as she is baking cakes and keeping my taste buds satisfied, she can chase me in all the forests and dreams she wants.

Here's the bitch, herself.