I'm Taking a Break

John is taking a well-deserved break from life this weekend. Going on a trip. Can't say where. Look for him in the paparazzi. 

Al Gore Is Amazing

Is Al Gore not the most accomplished and amazing person on the earth right now?

On top of his Vice-Presidency, and the Academy Award he won this year, Al Gore was just awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work with environmental protection regarding global warming. 

This man is amazing, and he would have my vote if he ran for president in 2008.

Tell Me Why

Dunzo. 

Oh, Good! Another E-Mail From Teeth Guy!

STOP THE MADNESS!

It's all right here, people.

It Never Ends, Folks

So The Teeth Guy which I have now affectionately labeled him, decided that he would clarify some things in case his last e-mail wasn't clear.

Read it HERE

I'm seriously, a little freaked out now.

Uh, Those Aren't My Real Teeth People

So, I was going to post this tomorrow, but seeing as it is by far the weirdest message I've ever received from a stranger I thought I would post it now.

Some of you may have seen my video called Rotten Teeth! on YouTube. It was a fun way to display my magic, and a lot of people got a kick out of it.

However, one guy actually messaged me and insisted I send him videos of the inside of my mouth...

The screen shot won't upload for some reason, so check it out HERE.

AH!

UPDATE: Upon further investigation, this guy actually has videos of his teeth on his YouTube site, surrounded by anime characters. What is wrong with this world?

URGENT: Leaving Voicemails

This is me listening to your stupid voicemail.

Okay haters, it's time I address you.

Please, DO NOT call my cell phone, get prompted to my voicemail, and then go in to an emotional tirade about how I'm so hard to get a hold of, not a good friend, need to be around my phone, or scream, "OH MY GOD" in to it. 

Okay, I have a busy life right now. If I can't get to my phone, it's because I am in class, working, or sleeping. Get over it. Seriously. Some people nap. Some people go to class. Some people work. 

Most of you know this, but I feel like I needed to get it out there. Seriously, stop calling me if you're just going to be heartbroken that I don't answer your needs every time you call. That is all.

Britney's New Video Looks Like It Was Made on iMovie

Okay, so Britney's new video for Gimme More was released at 12am and was the No.1 downloaded music video on iTunes in like 5 minutes or something. Clearly her career is no where near ending like all the critics think. I promise this site will NOT become a Britney site, but because I've been infatuated with her career as of late, I feel that I should just let you know why.

Anyway, check out that screen shot on the left from her new video! How hot is she!? I didn't think I would like her with darker hair but she looks really, really good. I'm impressed. Throughout the entire video she looks REALLY good actually. 

The video itself is pretty disappointing however. All she is doing is swinging around on a stripper pole. The cinematography is awesome though. It's basically all shot from the perspective of a drunk onlooker. Creative, I guess.

However, I believe I could make that entire video on my Mac and make it look exactly like that, if not better. I thought that for such a huge step in her career we would be seeing something a little more edgy, but I guess people have enough shit to talk about regarding her personal life, that her career is not as interesting as it used to be.

Congratulations Britney for being at No.1 on 4 different charts right now! 

Ew I sound like such a gay-bo.

Love, John

No I Don't Want 2% Cow Milk From Your Granny's Farm, Thank You Very Much

Does this look like an animal from which you want to be suckling teet juices? 

The answer is no.

Tonight at work a grown ass man came in to work and was asking about every single thing on the menu. He had a tie-dyed green shirt on with little stick figures with dreadlocks that read, "Jamaican Me Crazy."

Right away I knew I wanted to jump out of the nearest window, but I continued on with his order. One after the other he kept asking me, "What kind of drink is this?" Did I mention he was talking like he was 5 years old? He talked very slowly, and was trying to like figure words out in his head, which, in my opinion is disrespectful. 

Anyway, as he finally is done asking me what espresso is, and how it is incorporated in to a latte, he tries to tell me that he owns a coffee shop back home. So, anyway I ask him, "Would you like 2% or skim milk in that?"

His response, "Oh yeah, 2%. Back home where my granny's farm is, we have a cow that produces 2% milk. You guys 'oughtta come down here some time. It's 117 Maple Street. Back home on my Granny's farm is the best milk." Keep in mind it took him about 3 minutes to say that entire sentence. No lie.

Ayumi and Mike (the other two with whom I am working) both look at me immediately, expecting some sort of reaction. My response:

"Oh, well thanks anyway but I have plenty of 2% milk here at my discretion. Have a good night!" and I hand him his latte. THEN...he says, "Yeah I'm just going to stick around while this thing cools off."

Uh, I steamed the milk to 160 degrees, that thing isn't cooling down anytime soon. So, then he wants whipped cream, blah blah blah.

"Okay, whipped cream. Check! Have a good night," I say as I am handing him his drink again.

"Alright, you too. Come to my granny's farm, we have Jamaican and Italian coffee beans," he says as he turns the corner and is out of sight. I look over at Ayumi and Mike and they are beat red, laughing their asses off.

Not funny. Think about this next time you eat your cereal, ya'll.

I Need Britney Rehab

Okay so I'm just going to come clean here and admit that I REALLY like Britney's new single "Gimme More." It seems like all we do is hear about what she's doing wrong anymore, but her new single is No.1 on two separate iTunes charts, which is saying something. 

I'm partly infatuated with this woman and I have absolutely no idea why. I've been venturing in to her other recordings and find myself humming them to myself. And, by humming them to myself I mean singing very loudly in the shower like I'm about to start a world tour. It's sick.

Anyway, she stole my look. I buzzed my hair last October, and shortly thereafter, you can see what happened. She's definitely a fug in this picture, but why do I still love her?

Tonight I came home from work and found her interview with that disgusting pig Matt Lauer on YouTube. He just keeps grilling her, and being very annoying. You can tell that the questions were generated by the ratings producers rather than himself. Matt Lauer seems like a nice guy, I don't think he would keep pressing Britney's buttons. Anyway, she ended up crying and I felt really bad for her.

I think I need to go to Britney Rehab to get detoxed from this. I don't think it's healthy that I am so infatuated with her. Speaking of infatuation, how about Chris Crocker!? I ran in to him RIGHT before his video about leaving Britney alone became ridiculously huge. I think he's one of the funniest people out there. If you separate the fact that he dresses like a woman and actually listen to some of the stuff he is saying, it is actually very interesting, and I respect him for opening his mouth and taking on subjects that most people aren't ballsy enough to say.

Anyway, enough about all this hype. It's late and I need to go bed. I love you.

Oh yeah, Johnny was inspired by my writing and started a blog that you can read here. Check it out!